No, mental illnesses aren't real, are they?

Did you know, 25% of the UK population will experience a mental health problem in any given year? 20% of the older generation will experience depression in any given year and roughly 10% of children will be suffering a mental health problem at any given time. With statistics this high, why is there still such stigma attached to mental illness? 
Suicide is, believe it or not, the leading cause of death among men under the age of 35 (Five Years On, Department Of Health, 2005). 3 years ago, more than 5700 people committed suicide in the UK. These figures are astounding, and I'm finding it so hard to understand why people don't take mental health seriously. One often hears misinformed people saying that people with mental health problems are only 'doing it for attention', and that there is nothing wrong with the sufferer. If this is true, then why is it estimated that only a quarter of people in the UK with a mental health problem actually seek help? I think, the stigma attached to mental illness (there in the first place as a result of misinformation and those with rather narrow minds, refusing to allow themselves to accept the facts and figures of mental illness...) does no help for that 75% who refuse treatment or do not feel they are in need of help. People who feed stigma have no idea how debilitating living with a mental illness can be. 
Mental illnesses have the power to control somebody's life. They're like parasites, eating your happiness, your sanity, and turning you into a thing, no longer a person but a thing. At my worst, I wouldn't leave my bed for anything. I would vegetate, my mind and body lacking the exercise they both so badly needed I turned into a shell of a being. Anybody who had the displeasure of spending time with me would know what an absolute state I was in. I missed school (though not much, as for a long time I refused to let anybody know the extent to which I had been taken over by depression), I stopped seeing my friends, I didn't sleep and mostly I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Now, that is only speaking for somebody with depression, and even then not every sufferer is the same.  
If you are somebody who thinks depression is not a real illness, or mental health sufferers do it for attention, ask yourself: why? Why would somebody do that? Because it's fun? Surely not, it's anything but fun. Mental illnesses are no joke, they are real, painful and inexplicably horrific for the sufferer. The sooner people realise this, the sooner people can get the help and support they need.  

Not really a proper post but...

If you 'forget' to take your medication you can't expect to feel any better. Thought I'd already learned this lesson 100 times but apparently I never learn...

Some idiot from The Guardian...

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2013/aug/09/pills-unhappiness-reinforces-sad-human


I have to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what Fraser's point is. It appears he has no understanding of mental illness, nor has he concrete evidence on which to base his utterly absurd points. Yes, I will agree that many people are mis-diagnosed with depression, that people often confuse unhappiness with a severe mental illness, however it seems to me he does not believe in the condition at all. Classifying depression as "something quasi-medical" is definitely one way to really, really piss off somebody who has had the misfortune of depression in their life. 
As somebody who has suffered greatly with the illness, and knowing many other people who have fought the same battle, I feel educated enough on the subject to be able to say 'Giles, this is balls'. Depression is not feeling unhappy or simply dissatisfied with life. Depression is great periods of time drifting by in a cloud of darkness, with the sufferer helpless, unable to alter their own situation by themselves. For many people, this is a reality to which they do not want to face, thus hiding from society becomes the only option. Those who suffer with depression (and of course, many other illnesses such as Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, ADHD etc, etc) often have no choice but to take medication. Far from what Fraser is suggesting, it is common not to be diagnosed and given a pill on the first visit to the Doctor. It was 4 months before I was given the choice of medication, and that was only because I posed a severe risk to myself. Had I not taken Fluoxetine (aka Prozac) I would probably be dead. Although this was not the drug for me, and neither was Citalopram (Celexa), to which I changed after a couple of months, without the medication I simply would not be here. Anti-depressants save thousands of lives, and the fact that Fraser is even suggesting otherwise is absolute bollocks. 
"if we translate misery into some sort of chemical imbalance" ... Um, Giles, it is? Depression is commonly treated by a group of drugs called Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) which work by increasing the levels of serotonin in our brains. For an increase to be required suggests there was a lack of the chemical in the first place, thus proving depression is a chemical imbalance, with the prevailing symptom of misery. 
I completely could not believe what I was reading when I read this article last night. I could not believe somebody could have such a bigoted mind and could insult such a large group of sufferers. I feel for those people battling with undiagnosed symptoms of any mental illness, who read this article and now feel that they have no reason to go to the Doctor, that they are fine and will soon get better. If you have depression, you will not get better by yourself. This article is so close to the crap such as 'get over it', 'pull yourself together'. If you have depression you cannot 'get over it'. You wouldn't tell somebody with cancer to 'get over it' so why would you someone with depression? It is an utterly debilitating illness, at the hands of which so many people die. It's about time people stop pretending mental illness doesn't exist and begin to do something about it.

Just want to say...

don't be ashamed of your scars. They mean you survived. You shouldn't have to cover up your own body if you're hot. Just because some people are ridiculously stupid and insensitive and ignorant it does not mean you have to hide the proof that you made it. Your scars are there because you won. Be proud.

Recovery?

Recently, something that has been taking up a lot of space on my mind is the idea of recovery. What is recovery? If recovery begins once you initially seek help then I've been in recovery for 17 months; however it's only been the past 6 months that I've actually recovered at all.
Therapies and medication all take their time, and if you can't find the correct balance then it can take a very long time before you begin to notice improvements. I'm currently on my third medication and awaiting my 4th therapist. The idea of recovery to begin with is amazing, but in reality it's not that special. I've been waiting and waiting for things to go right for me and they never did. Right therapist, wrong medication. Right medication, no therapist. What I'm trying to say here is, recovery is something that should always be striven for among those of us who have suffered the misfortune of a mental disorder, however, don't let it put you off when it doesn't go your way. Countless times I thought "this is it, this is it, I'm getting better for good now", only to fall back into staying in bed for days, not eating and spending all my time crying. It happens, inevitably, but you have to force yourself through the tough days reminding yourself of all the reasons you have to get better. Something I did a little over a month ago, when I realised I found the medication that worked for me (Mirtazapine) was get a tattoo. I'd always wanted a bird on my wrist, a take on the 'butterfly technique' which aids peoples' efforts to cease self harming- the person would draw a butterfly on their wrist, and for as long as the butterfly remains you cannot harm yourself. When I told my mum she wasn't keen, and as I am very close with her I didn't want to get it knowing she would be unhappy about it and most likely hate it! I then decided on script, and that of Sylvia Plath. I thought it would be a good reminder that I do not want to kill myself, and the words I chose, if interpreted in a certain way, are very inspiring. I got my tattoo to remind myself that I am never, ever going to allow myself to be as ill as I was a year ago.
Now, I'm not suggesting everybody get a tattoo, however if there is anything you could do to remind yourself you're worth more than depression and you do deserve to get better and regain your life, then I urge you, do it!
Recovery can be a scary thought. It can seem like nothing is ever working and the whole world is against you getting better, but I promise if you continue to battle through it and stay strong, it is indeed reachable. If I can do it, at university away from my parents, my doctor, my therapist and the safety net of school, then anybody can.

Living with depression

Everybody will experience periods of low mood in their life for all sorts of reasons, but this does not mean that they are depressed. My view is that a person can feel depressed but not actually be depressed. Depression is a period of 2 or more weeks (as clinically defined) whereby the sufferer feels low, empty or just downright miserable. This can be for any number of reasons but can also be for absolutely no reason at all. It seems to be that is what many people find difficult to understand about depression: the sufferer may be depressed for no apparent reason. The clinical reason is probably a lack of serotonin (the 'happy' chemical our brains naturally produce) which causes the patient to feel low and depressed. It is often heard that people say 'well, you have no reason to be depressed, so just snap out of it, stop feeling sorry for yourself'. This is not practical or fair. People who are depressed cannot just 'snap out of it' and believe me, if they could they would! Depression is an illness, just like diabetes or flu, and you would never hear somebody say there is no reason to be diabetic, so why should there have to be a reason to be depressed?
People often mistake depression for a 'phase', and something that can easily be fixed with a couple of therapy sessions and 2 weeks of medication. This is not the case. Depression can take years to overcome, therapy is not a 'quick fix' and most anti-depressants only begin to work after a minimum of 2 weeks. Depression is a never ending black tunnel. It is the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness and most of all it the inability to overcome these feelings. It is feeling as though you do not deserve feeling any better than the worthlessness you feel is your life. Making the first step to overcome this is the hardest part, because that is admitting you are worth recovery. I started feeling depressed in October 2011 and it was not until February 2012 that I finally went to the doctor, March that I started therapy and June when I was put on medication. At this time I was in year 13, my final year of school so you can imagine what affect this had on my studies. Luckily, I set myself up very well the previous year, so it did not matter that I did not meet my target grades, and even more luckily, I had one very understanding teacher  who, due to her role as Deputy Head was able to submit various forms to the Universities to which I had applied and even though I missed my entry requirements by one grade I was still accepted to my first choice.
Depression does not have to end your life. Often with depression the sufferer can begin to feel suicidal and make attempts on their life. This does not have to be. As somebody who has experienced this and come out the other side (almost), I want to say that you do not have to give in to the illness controlling your mind. You can regain control of your life and rid yourself of the negativity. Just because that voice in your head is telling you that you do not deserve to live it does not mean it is right! What you can't see in the middle of it is what your life will become once you recover. I could never see myself at university. I used to enter the classroom and sit with my head on the table and almost fall asleep. I never thought I'd be where I am now and I am proud of myself for accomplishing what I thought I'd  never accomplish. If I did it, anybody can. That voice is wrong; if it is giving you such negative thoughts you should go to the doctor immediately and start your road to recovery.
I don't want to put anybody under the impression that recovering from depression is easy. It is the single most hardest thing I've ever had to do, but slowly, day by day, I am getting there. With the right support in place (family and friends, a doctor and a therapist) you can do it. Medication isn't for everyone and neither is therapy, most find the two together work best and that is how I am recovering (although since being at university therapy hasn't exactly been simple). I strongly urge anybody who feels they may be depressed to seek the help they need, and if you are worried about a loved one, please talk to them about how they are feeling. It may be something (and hopefully it is) that can be fixed with a chat and a cup of tea, but just in case it isn't, educate yourself on depression and ask them what they would like to do about it. Facing up to the fact that you may have a mental illness is not easy, so be kind and patient and let them know you're there for them should they need you.
If you are feeling suicidal, look up numbers in your local area which run a crisis service, or if you are more desperate call 999 or take yourself to A&E immediately.

Challenge Stigma

As I mentioned in my previous post, my main goal with this blog is to raise awareness of mental health, what it is and how it affects people, an idea which was heavily influenced by my own sufferings but more recently by two campaigns of mental health charities which aim to raise awareness and tackle stigma. A topic which is very important to me personally is self harm. As somebody who has dealt with issues of self harming behaviour since the young age of just 13, I am angered and frustrated by the attitudes towards the topic. Many people choose to ignore it; pretend it's not happening to their son, daughter, best friend. Those who do talk about it often portray it in such a negative light that those suffering find it impossible to reach out for help they desperately need. My family weren't aware until 3 months after I turned 15.
It seems to me the general population are afraid of the subject. As humans, we fear what is different and foreign, yet in this case we don't seem to stop and think about the sufferer. If you hear about your friend who is cutting, burning or partaking in other such behaviour, and you are afraid and thus create a distance between yourselves, or you become angry and you tease them for it, think about how the sufferer must be feeling. Just because they are doing it themselves it does not mean they are in control of it. True, many people who begin to self harm do so as a way to control an aspect of their life as other aspects have become hopelessly out of control, however the behaviour soon becomes uncontrollable, it becomes a habit, an addiction, a means to survive. If somebody is reaching out to you and you then distance yourself, that person is going to feel lonely and abandoned, which will then serve as yet more reasons to harm themselves.
People who self harm are not weird. They are not freaks, and they are certainly no less of a person than those who do not injure themselves. Those who self harm need help. It is often said that people do it for attention, and it is true in some respects. People who self harm for attention also need help. For others, they self harm as a cry for help, a way to express what they are feeling on the inside on the outside, visible, as proof of their sufferings. It baffles me how many people still hold such negative views on this topic.
If you ever see anybody with scars on the wrists or other parts of their body, don't alienate them. These people need love, care and help, all of which everybody is capable of offering.
It's not difficult to say "hey, it's ok. Do you need to talk about it".
If you are a sufferer, there are many places you can get help. Most schools have a designated member of staff (in my case, going to this member of staff was the best decision I ever made in regards to my mental health) to help, a family member, friend or your doctor. If you are under 16 I can't vouch that your confidentiality will not be broken, however it is important that you make aware as many people as possible in order that you have the right help and support to improve your life.
I will always say that speaking about the way I was feeling, although I didn't do this until the start of my final year of school, was the key step to make. Everything after that initial conversation is easy in comparison. Find somebody you can trust and tell them how you are feeling. If somebody opens up to you about how they are feeling, be sensitive and understanding. Even if you don't understand, listen carefully and always encourage them to seek the help of a professional.